Feedback:
Because I did not get any reviews for my second video, due to my error of not submitting, I am posting both my second video and my third video. I had some feedback on the first pitch so this is the feedback I went by.
"Orlando is a big destination for tourists. And, true, that if more bus opportunities from Orlando to other popular tourist destinations existed by bus, there would be more opportunities for the tourists to visit more destinations in Florida and that would also create more job opportunities for the bus drivers that would deliver them to their destinations." - Gregory, Classmate
I didn't get as much feedback as I would of liked but I did receive a good one from a classmate, Gregory. I liked what he said about having more routes in terms of buses and I agree that the opportunities for tourists would grow if more bus routes were created.
What did you change based on feedback?:
Since I didn't receive feedback on the actual video, I went ahead and critiqued myself and found several things that I did not like about my first pitch video.
1.) I thought the recording of the volume was not as loud as I liked it to be
2.) The color of the dress shirt made the room darker
3.) Stumbled words and messed up couple times.
The Change
On this second video, I tried to address the problems that were apparent in my first video.
1.) Spoke louder so that it can be heard better
2.) Changed the dress shirt to white
3.) Tried to memorize more of the pitch rather than reading it from the screen.
Do, I think you have improved on your elevator pitch! You seemed more confident when you speak with appropriate body language.The speech is clear, well organized and louder than before. Your business idea is interesting and sounds like a good opportunity. Keep it up! If you like please check my blog http://wtl328.blogspot.com/2016/03/elevator-pitch-no-3.html
ReplyDeleteI like that since you did not receive any feedback that you went ahead and critiqued yourself. Each issue you found in my opinion helped make your pitch that much better. I agree with Wan that you looked more confident as you used the right body language. All you need now is some input from other and you should have your pitch nailed. Very well done on this post!
ReplyDeleteDo, I think you have improved on your elevator pitch! You have more confidence in your third pitch compared to your second pitch. This is good because future potential investors like to see confidence when you talk about your product and how it can meet their needs. In all, great job with this elevator pitch as well as your opportunity sounds like a good idea! Feel free to check out my blog post for this assignment!
ReplyDeletehttp://ent3003mt.blogspot.com/2016/03/elevator-pitch-no-3.html
I think you did a great job with improvements! It is crazy to think how subtle changes can make such a difference to our pitches. For example, I really believe that the lighter shirt was a positive change for how you wanted your message to be delivered. I think this is a great idea, and I think you delivered in a very professional way. Great job! Feel free to check out my elevator pitch: http://rachelecarter.blogspot.com/2016/03/elevator-pitch-no-3.html
ReplyDelete